The Slap Bet

Over the past six or seven months I have lost over 50 pounds. I feel better, look better, and am more productive at home and at work. I’ll post about my journey—which I’m still on—another time. Probably many times. For today, I’ll detail one little trick that has helped me change a habit… The slap bet. Strictly speaking, this method is not a true slap bet—but it does involve slapping. Potentially my being slapped!

The slap bet originates with one of this decade’s best sitcoms, How I Met Your Mother. Way back in season 2 (the show ended in flames after 9 pretty good, sometimes great seasons), Marshall and Barney made a bet. The stakes? The winner gets to slap the loser as hard as he can. They appoint Lily ‘slap bet commissioner,’ giving her power to enact and enforce rules as needed.

It’s a classic episode of sitcom TV and I highly recommend it, even if you only have a passing knowledge of the show or its characters and fine cast (Neal Patrick Harris, Jason Segel, Alyson Hannigan, Josh Radnor and Cobie Smulders). This episode may hook you, and for great reasons—fantastic interplay between the slap bettors, the slap bet commissioner, and unsurprising-yet-hilarious revelations about the backstories of Ted (Radnor) and Robin (Smulders). And oh yeah, the debut of Robin Sparkles!

 

I made a little slap bet of my own about seven months ago. The nature of my job at the time was pretty stressful—lots of transition, company re-organizations, fierce competition, and mental and physical demands that were really wiping me out. My coping mechanism was the energy drink—specifically zero-carb Monster. In a pinch, if no Monster was around, Diet Rockstar or Red Bull would suffice. Zero-calorie NOS would work too, thought it tasted like kerosene and food coloring. I even tried the stuff gas stations sell, with crazy names you never heard of. Anything to keep me up when I was feeling everything other than up.

 

 I would drink AT LEAST one a day, usually two, and on those really long stretches over holidays or other drive times or projects, three or even four. Most days, in addition to the energy drinks, I would grab a quick lunch and nap in my car for 30 or 45 minutes—I was drained, in spite of chugging all that caffeine, guarana, taurine, and whatever else was in those artificially flavored cans of make-believe sunshine. With those crashes and the general lethargy I was feeling, I knew a) this crap wasn’t doing me any good and b) it was probably doing me harm.

That’s when I had the idea of doing something drastic—the slap bet. Jared is a great guy who worked with me; he was one of our leaders on the staff of 120 or so. We’ve both moved on to different locations with another company in the past few months, but back then we worked around 40 hours a week together. Jared is a stud—great morals, a man of his word, a US Army vet, fit and full of energy. His personal motto is tattooed on his arm—‘Always Move Fast.’ In other words, Jared is not the kind of guy you want slapping you. He’s not the kind of guy you want committing to slap you, because you know he would definitely keep his word.

 

Anyway, I was starting to cut out some unhealthy snacks and working out with increasing frequency, but my energy was still all over the place, due, I figured to the energy drinks. On a whim, I shook his hand, and committed him to slapping me as hard as he could if he ever saw me with an energy drink in my hand again. I let everyone on my team know, told the security guys and other leaders, and got the word around everywhere. Jared was psyched, mostly (I think) because he wanted me to succeed and get healthier. I’m sure a part of him looked forward to slapping me too.

I’m proud to say I went cold turkey, and it’s now been around 7 months since I had a drop. I’ve never been more energized! A year ago I could not keep up with my kids running and playing ball, now I even drag them behind me from time to time! While Jared and I haven’t worked directly together for four or five months, that couple months of accountability built a habit (or rather, erased a bad one) and it has stuck.

Let’s look at why this life change stuck:

-          I told people about my goal. Just about our entire team (100+ employees) knew about this goal and the incentive to succeed. Saying a goal out loud, writing it down, and sharing it with others all exponentially increase the likelihood you will succeed, at least in my experience.

-         There was accountability and incentive. There were tangible stakes for me. Succeeding meant saving money, feeling better, and oh, yeah, avoiding the slap. Failing meant just the opposite.

-          It was fun! We laughed about it all the time, it was a fun, easy thing to celebrate (“one more week without getting slapped!”)

-          And most importantly… One day I decided to do something now!

I didn’t hem and haw, think about, strategize, speculate, ramp up, psych up, or gear up. I thought about something that I wanted to do, and did something about it—right away! I didn’t have “one last drink,” or tell myself “I’ll start Monday.” That big Monday never comes—at least most of the time, for most of us. We find a reason to push it back another Monday, or maybe Tuesday, or New Year’s Day, or next New Year’s Day. There is real power in committing and DOING without hesitating—even doing something small. It strengthens and emboldens us, hardening our resolve for when we are tempted to stray off course.

 

There are plenty of areas in my life in which I have resolved, committed, started and sputtered. But when I got right back on track, making a commitment and acting immediately on that notion, I have done better and, for the most part, stayed on the path I had strayed from.

The slap bet gag ran for 7 years on How I Met Your Mother—it had real staying power! I’m glad I made my own slap bet with Jared, and with life. Most of all I’m glad I won—avoiding that slap and, more importantly, avoiding another 7 months of untapped potential, naps in the car, and letting myself and others down with how I showed up at work, at home, and in life. Here’s to you making the change you want to make, and 7 months, 7 years, and a lifetime of resolve and success! Do something—big or small—today. Make that slap bet!