Liam (Part 2-- Preparing for Surgery)

Love  this guy!

As we got closer to the date of the surgery, the family experienced some ups and downs. My work was demanding, but our store really started to perform in the month of March (which is great, since this ends our fiscal quarter, and we can use every bonus dollar we can get!) I also had some challenges at work—one of my assistant managers had to leave to relocate closer to his wife’s family, and of course leading a team means there's a bunch of challenges I won't get into right now. Let’s just say, the store was performing, but it was requiring a lot of my time and energy—working a handful of Sundays, performing interviews, and being very strategic and conscientious about how I spent pretty much every minute at work.

But, as I said, it was paying off, and at work we were making headway. At the same time, things around the house were pretty stressful, with Ethan working and trying to get the classes he wanted for school, and the three younger kids all doing their schoolwork at home through a state-sponsored online program. This was another of many little fortunate steps along the path we’ve walked these past several months… When we moved down here at the end of January, we felt that putting the kids in a home-school type of environment might be good, as it had been a long five months or so of me commuting from Seattle to Portland.

We thought it might be nice for the kids to not have the stress of a new school on top of this move, especially considering Corrinne and Liam will each be going to yet another new school this fall—Liam to high school and Corrinne to junior high. Also, in the fall, it will be nice for Corrinne and Annelise to be attending the same school—I think Corrinne in particular really benefits from having her big sister around. Although it has been a challenge for Darcie to coordinate schedules, keep laptop batteries charged, referee who gets what computer, oversee home lab experiments, correct papers, and pretty much work all day to make sure the kids are on top of their schoolwork, the kids haven’t had to miss any school due to the visits back and forth to the doctor. (Imagine how tough it would be to be the new kid, then miss days and weeks and come back with a big scar on your head?) Again, while we certainly couldn’t see it at the time we registered them, this has been a fortuitous step along our little detour.



Some of the swag sent by Microsoft

Another nice little benefit—my employer. Microsoft has just been great to us through this time. In fact, about a week or so before the surgery, three separate packages arrived at the home. One day while I was at work, I got a text from Darcie saying, “we got a package from Microsoft, can I open it?” The first day we were delighted to see that my boss and our market admin had sent Liam a year of Xbox Music Pass, knowing how much Liam is into making and listening to music of all kinds. It’s a really great service—check it out if you haven’t. Liam was stoked!

A couple days later, I got another text about another package. It contained many 8 by 10 autographed photos of celebrities who have done events with the company. My boss had worked with our organization’s amazing marketing director to get pics of people like Cee-Lo, Weezer, Shaquille O’Neal, Kelly Clarkson, Blake Shelton, Zac Brown Band, the Band Perry, and probably another 6 or 8 artists (my memory fails as I sit in the waiting room, typing up these thoughts). It was a great surprise, and even if some of the artists aren’t Liam’s favorites, he still knows and respects all of them, and hey, it’s just cool to have all those autographs right?

Finally, a third package arrived—a microphone signed by the rapper Macklemore and his producer Ryan Lewis! Totally huge surprise, and an awesome keepsake for Liam! My boss, the company, and my employees have all been amazingly supportive through this, and it’s been easy for me to hop on the bus or streetcar to meet Darcie and Liam for appointments downtown; just as convenient as something like this can be, anyway. Another little blessing that was unforeseen.

Ethan, Liam and I had a fun day the Saturday before Liam’s surgery. We hung out downtown, hit some shops, bought some records and CD’s, had a killer dinner at Lardo (with a name like this, it’s got to be good, right?) We then were 4^th, 5^th, and 6^th in line to see Tweedy perform—a band headed by Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy and his son Spencer on drums. We were right up front, it was a great show and we had an awesome time; it was nice to share a moment together and not dwell on the stuff Liam had been dealing with.



The morning of surgery

The three weeks or so before surgery, when we had a date, but had no appointments or tests in the meantime, were excruciating. Most days, I’d just push it to the back of my mind—something to look forward to, to dread, to appreciate and despise all at once. It was easier to just work or eat or mow the lawn or do something, because the upcoming surgery was all I could think about when I didn’t have to think about something else. Some days, I was almost overcome with worry if I paused long enough to think about it. But most of the time I was comforted and reassured, through prayer, fasting, or just pondering all the good things I have to be thankful for, and everyone rooting and praying for Liam.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve had to work a few Sundays, both because of demands of the job, and also to conserve some sick time so I could have more time with Liam after the surgery. A couple Sundays before the surgery, we were able to attend church as a family, and I was totally uplifted from the opening hymn, Lead, Kindly Light.

I’ve heard the song, I don’t know, a hundred times, maybe? But I had never really listened to it before this Sunday morning. I was touched by the words of John Henry Newman, an English missionary and priest in the 1800’s. The song’s message was perfectly appropriate, tailor-made, it seems for our situation:

“Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead thou me on! Keep thou my feet: I do not ask to see the distant scene—one step enough for me.”

We felt far from home, having moved just a couple weeks before Liam’s tumor was found. With two or three weeks to go yet before the surgery, all we needed was help getting through each day, each hour, each step. Learning that Cardinal Newman had written this while on a missionary trip while very ill in Italy, and myself having been a missionary in England, and knowing how he felt, really connected with me. The remaining two verses are equally as powerful and comforting; they talk of how the author hadn’t always lived as one who would be led by this kindly Light, they express gratitude for God’s blessings throughout his life, and they speak of angels of those he had loved and lost, now watching over him.

Every word of the hymn perfectly matched and comforted us in our situation. As we sang, the Spirit comforted me, and I felt led by the Savior’s kindly light. After we finished singing, I whispered to Darcie, “Did you read the words to that hymn?” I watched as she felt the same things I did, and I could see the effect the song had on her, just so powerful and comforting! I was asked to give the closing prayer in Church that day, and I just had this overwhelming feeling that God heard our prayers and was blessing us and leading us, and that he’d get us through this, ‘one step’ at a time.

Looking down, out the window from the waiting room

The night before the surgery, we gave Liam a blessing. Our Church has a program where every family is assigned home teachers (men) and visiting teachers (women). And every man and woman gets to be a home or visiting teacher as well. These members of the congregation, check in, support, comfort, befriend, etc., whatever is needed by the families. In our case, we had never met our home teacher, having just moved in, but we were amazed to find that our home teacher is not only a really nice guy, but an optometrist. And of course the thing that got us started on this whole journey was an eye issue.

Randy, our home teacher, came and assisted with the blessing, and we had a great experience together, enhanced, I’m sure, by Randy’s unique perspective and interest in Liam’s case. He even had a friend in optometry school who dealt with a tumor behind his eye before graduation, but was able to have it successfully operated on, allowing him to go on and fully recover and practice optometry. Just another little way we recognize we are not alone in our challenge.

The day finally came for the surgery, and we headed to OHSU. It was a beautiful, clear morning, and I pointed out the view from the I-5 bridge looking eastward—you can see the houses on the docks around Hayden Island, some neat little houses on the water, and when you look up the river, a great view of Mt. Hood in the distance. It is really serene, at least for one of the busiest stretches of freeway in the Pacific Northwest.

We got to the hospital about 20 minutes before our scheduled check in time, which was great because Dr. Baird had finished her first surgery early. We went into the pre-op area, and Liam got dressed in his flattering hospital gown. We helped him get all washed up and sterile and put him on his bed. They gave him a little IV cocktail to make him a bit less tense as he prepared for full anesthesia. Dr. Baird again ran us through the procedure, making sure we had no further questions. As a second doctor talked about the risks of the surgery (including blindness and bleeding), we noticed Liam starting to get concerned and comforted him. We had great doctors, and we had what felt like half the country praying for us. At about 11:00 a.m., they wheeled him into surgery as we wished him luck and gave him a last hug and kiss.



In good spirits, heading into surgery

They anticipated the surgery would take somewhere between three and six hours, depending on the consistency of this tumor—if it was pretty soft, it would go quickly. If it was hard, it would take longer. We settled into the waiting room, preparing for the first update, which would come at about 90 minutes into the surgery.

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